Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dance rules at the Disco...

Some Friendly looking guys at DTPM (Picture sourced from

Things to remember when Dancing in a nightclub (near me):

1. If your on the dance floor, dance. Bopping from one foot the other does not count.

2. If you smile at me I will smile back, Im friendly…this does not mean you should then proceed to grope me.

3. If your wearing a hat in a night club your hiding something. That’s all I will say.

4. If the dancefloor is not full and the first dance move you make involves stepping on my foot then you are too close.

5. Just because you repeatedly bump into me in drug induced dance ‘style’ does not mean I’m trying to pick you up.

6. If your are the same age as my father, and with the same stellar physique (please sense major sarcasm here) do not see it as your right to fondle or feel me up.

7. Don’t just stand there and stare, I can feel you looking and its really off putting.

8. If you’re hot, try and break away from your group on the dancefloor so I can try pick you up. It’s scary trying to approach a group, but Id still like to jump you.

9. If you take anything onto the dancefloor other then your ‘groove’ you will loose all respect. This includes cigarettes and glasses with drinks in it. (Oh you mean carrying this full beverage above my head through a mass of gyrating people didn’t stop this bright red liquid spilling on everyone??)

10. Smile. Its not hard, its even meant to be fun…but remember rule number 2.

11. If the beat drops on a track and Im going off and getting down with the tune…that is not the right time to come over put your hand on my shoulder to introduce yourself and deliver a bad pickup line. Ur just ruining the best part of the song.

12. If you ask me a question I will answer it nicely and in a friendly way, because I am friendly and nice. Not because I want to sleep with you, dance with you or have your hands feel up my chest.

13. If you do find the right time to ask a question, do not use it as an excuse to run your hands all over my torso. That’s just rude. (And obvious)

(Guess who went out this weekend and found nothing/noone interesting or sexy??)


At 10:04 AM, Blogger Darien Markess said...

Ha! Rules to live by!

Damn! Wish I'd known he was going out - andwhere he'd be!

At 10:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So you're saying you can't go to a gay bar or onto a dancefloor without getting molested?

At 11:23 AM, Blogger NarcissusAU said...

I enjoy my time on the dancefloor, its a real release for me...I also love the camaraderie out there when a hot track hits...
I like meeting people and chatting and being friendly...its just when these things happen again and again I find it hard to continue to see the humour and good light of it... Some of these guys get really brash. Im sorry, but not everyone gets to grab my crotch and have a squeeze...

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