Sunday, August 13, 2006

Dear Porn Shop Attendent...

Dear Porn Shop Attendant,

Firstly, let me thank you for your attempt at helping me. But unfortunately I wasn’t looking for the straight section. I mean common, your on Oxford St, exactly how many guys actually go to the straight porn shelf??

I can understand how that may not have started our transaction on the right foot, but is the attitude really needed? Really, I may be some guy crawling through the porn DVDs looking for my “Saturday night lover” but no attitude is needed thanks, after all I’m only shopping there…you work there.

And whilst I thought it was a thoughtful touch, your running commentary on the titles I picked up was less then amusing to me. When I’m in a porn shop the last thing I want to hear is some person asking me: “wow, are you really into stuff like that?”. Like it was somehow incredulous that someone who looks like me, would be into something like that.
Furthermore, I don’t think you have my kind of guy identified as well as you think you have. Your warning that: “the guys in that video will make your dick go soft…” was perhaps premature at best. And really if I was after an opinion, I would actually ask a guy….a gay guy. Not a woman, no matter how creatively pierced she is. And really, if my estimation is correct…you’d have as much experience with the different kinds of guys as I do with the different kinds of women. But again, thanks for trying.

And Im sure that working in a porn shop on a Saturday evening is probably not the best place to be, and you need as much to entertain yourself as possible….I did see that eyebrow raise and that slight smirk…. Don’t judge my porn.
I admit that the title Sex Battles of the Latex Covered Muscle Warriors of Planet Masculon may seem a little amusing….but really, if it does the job….. actually, you were probably right there. You have every right to smile at that one, in fact your ability to stifle outright laughter should have been commended at the time. On reflection, that truly is a ridiculous DVD.

Well done on that, good work…Ignor the rest, you work in a porn shop….You deserve a little fun.


Regards,

NarcissusAU

3 Comments:

At 5:22 PM, Blogger Darien Markess said...

ROTFLMAO!

Was that at Kaos? I was there on Saturday night too!

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Darien Markess said...

I didn't get a commentary though - she must have liked you more than me ;-)

 
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