Sunday, January 27, 2008

It is done...

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning." -Louise L'Amour

That's it. I'm done.
Thanks...It's been one hell of a ride.

This is my 200th post, it will also be my last on this Blog.

I've been going through my post history deleting these posts one at a time and I realized just how much I covered on here. In my mind this was always a sex Blog but after writing about all the stuff I needed to share there were far more of my life on show then I had thought, and you guys were here to share along in it.

Changing my job and my location, my competitive bodybuilding career, sex, sex and sex. My battle with cancer and my battle to find myself.

But now that's done. When I started this blog I was closeted, alone, misguided and looking to find my place. I used it as a place where I could be out and honest and truthful to myself while existing in a life which was all about half truth.

I am now living my life in honesty and of the moment. This is part of reason I no longer need the outlet of this Blog. Whilst the journey to find my place continues I can close off this part of my life knowing that the dreams I had when it started have now become part of my life.

I have made many tremendous contacts and many great friends through this blog. Relationships that I hope will continue on into my continued adventures in my Emerald City.

This Blog at times achieved a notoriety that sent over 30,000 people to its address per month. This is an amazing number to me and beyond even my wildest expectations. And whilst is was fun and what I needed in the past, over the last few months every time I came to write a post for Synthetic Ego the wrong things came out.

No longer were my posts about sex and boys and muscle. They became about equality, justice, homophobia, violence towards gays and politics. I never posted these thoughts as these issues deserved more respect then as a side bar to another muscle fuck. But as I get more of the 'stuff' that I wanted I can see that there is far more important issues for us to deal with.

The apathy that I had in the face of my own personal journey has made way for a silent rage at the barrage of inequities that we all face as Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Bisexual people. Our sexuality is not a choice but our silent acceptance of the modern reality is. I can no longer choose this acceptance. Hence I move on from this blog.

And this is it. This is the end of my sexcapades, Narcissus style...

But not before a big thank you to everyone who read along, left comments or laughed at my intended humor and my not intended humor (hell, Ill take it anyway I can get it...). Thank you for coming along and letting me feel like I was being listened to, that my stories had interest and were relatable and were real. Everything that I wrote on this blog was the truth of my life and you'all stuck around to share that. You didn't judge, you sent your support when I was down or lost, you made the last two years quite a ride. And I doubt I would be the kinda guy I am today without the input and influence you have all had along the way.

Thanks to everyone in Blogland that linked to me, that always felt nice.

So now its time to press the magic "Publish" button and finish my fairwell... beginning is always the hardest thing to do.


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