Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Community Service:- Lessons for all....

One of my Favourite blogs Bill in Exile is curently running a community service program and posting lessons from his Leather 101 course.

I think this should be a license have to prove you've read these before your allowed to buy anything from a leather shop.

A true community service.

Oh and he's hinted at posting pics of himselfin his leather gear... And since Im slightly ga ga over the guy I would like everyone from over here to go over there and keep the pressure on until this masculine hunk of funk bears all, tightly encased in his choice of fetish wear.

Sheeya! He's so damn lickable!! So click now and thank me later....

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


What the last thing you want to hear from the nurse about to remove the stitches wrapped around your jugular and holding your head to your neck??
How bout: "Oh...dear....hmmmm.....let me just get some help."

Ah ha.... right, Ill just lie here under this drop cloth you set out in readiness for all the blood splatter thats no doubt to follow.

Next nurse comes in and starts yanking out stitches... "Oh okay, this is fine... Ill just go grab a bigger tool to grab that with. Then we'll give it a good yank. that should work!"

Ah ha....right, Ill just lie here and try not to notice the blood dripping through my beard and down my neck.

My doctor walks in.... "Oh okay, let me just grab this...." yank "you hold that..." yank

At this point I calmly look up at the doctor and ask "is it at this point I get a local??"
"Ah yes, I think I will give you a squirt"
The doctor injects me and recommences yanking and pulling. All I can feel is the dull pulling and twisting of my skin around my neck.

"There we go...." slow pulling motion as a long strip of nylon thread is pulled from my neck "done!"

Thank god for local pain killers!

(And just to let you guys know, these nurses and the doctor are the best money can get. The problem they were having with my stitches was not due to their lack of skill. It was more to do with the fact that the incision was so deep and long......and Id popped a few stiches along the way in the gym....)

But the results are in. The whole tumor was successfully removed and the site is clean. Just a few more tests to come back on the rest of my body and then its the ALL CLEAR.

I think Im going to shave my beard to celebrate. New beginnings and big adventures.

Once again, thanks for all the support and kind words....hopefully soon Ill be able to go out and really "Celebrate" my new cancer free status and give you guys a real story to read. ;-)

Friday, January 26, 2007

Happy Australia Day!!

Australians all let us rejoice

For we are young and free

We've golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea:

Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare,

In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia fair

Thursday, January 25, 2007


In my sarcastic last post I did forget to say one thing....

A big THANK YOU to all those people who left me comments and sent me a ton of email wishing me well and chastising me during my recovery. I was amazed and humbled by how many and how much you'all care.

Big special thanks to Sue, Not So Single Guy and Superdrewby for their words and support.

But this bloggers meet up at the Tilbury Hotel in Woolloomooloo has me spinning. It sounds like fun, and I deff like to meet some of my favorite bloggers but then Narcissus wouldn't be so anonymous anymore..... hmmmm dilemma. Ill have to think about that one.....

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Things I have learnt...

This week has been interesting.

Here are some of the things Ive learnt this week:

1) I move my head....alot (and when you have 30+ stitches running the length of your jaw that bitch hurts)

2) I am Pysically addicted to the gym (and have gone through actuall withdrawal symptoms)

3) You will always meet the most inconvienient people at the most incomvienient times (like when I snuck into the gym last night only to turn up face to face with my surgeon in the locker rooms.... He stood there tapping his foot until I left - the gym)

4) When I cum, I never realised but I tense all the muscles in my neck (because that motherfuker hurt like a bitch!!)

5) When you absolutely positively can't go out to play with the when you absolutely positively will be the horniest you have ever been

6) TV will rot your brain (but I can't stop watching it and now I'm hooked on Project Runway, The Cut, The Tyra Banks Show and the Bowflex commercial - godbless those proud young men who like to flex)

7) Watching guys showoff in a bowflex commercial will make you want to goto the gym even more

8) My dog is more lazy then I am

9) Oh and its ALOT easier to pop stitches then you would think.....and ALOT more painful then you would expect (but I did finish the set of dumbbell curls)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Battered and Bruised....

Straight up Ill let you guys know this story does not end in orgasm or some sexy story of romance or anything more then me lying here in my bed, neck and head wrapped in inch thick bandages.
And feeling very sorry for myself.

I can't even remember if I mentioned on this Blog that last year I had a little cancer scare. We caught it early and treated it with a new technology and everyone thought it was all okay.
Well, I went back for my follow up, my doctor found a lump in my neck near the original and it turns out....gosh darn it...I have cancer again.
This time the only option was to operate so today I was in theater having a strip of flesh the size of a cigarette lighter removed from my neck .

Im all sewn up and bandaged and painkilled and minus a malignant tumor... although I won't take the full perscription of painkillers because it goes against my ideas of being a drug free dude. But I did cave a little.

But lying here all bandaged and throbbing I realised that I'm gonna have a difficult time over the next couple of days getting to my blog and writing anything of interest. Not to mention the fact that I certainly won't be out playing with the boys this weekend... Im not even allowed to goto the gym!!

So anyway, just letting you guys know that Im not ignoring you, or being boring or anything like that...Im just a little sore.

But the second Im back on my feet you'all have something hot to read because no doubt I will be one horny motherfuck....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Surfie Boy (concluded...

His head bobs and his fingers play me like an instrument. Pleasure everywhere as he moves and groves his way around my body. He moves with fluent skill seemingly getting off on getting me closer and closer to the edge.
I pull him off me and kiss him deeply, tasting my salty flavor on his lips. Nice.
I pull him towards the bed. He stands on it as I kneel on the padding taking his cock once again into my mouth, I suck down hard and twist his balls. He falls back against the wall as I continue to work his cock reaching up to work on his nipples.
Soon he removes me from his cock and Im lying on my back with him siting on top of me. We kiss deeper and deeper as our hands continue to explore the others body. He runs his fingers from around my balls over my perineum and up the crack of my ass over my ass....playing with my hole with flicks and pressure. His other hand stays steadfast on my abs pushing down solidly.
I run my hands through his wild and curly hair. My hands move down to caress his strong uber-masucline jaw. I pull his face towards mine, we kiss as I flip him onto his back grabbing his cock and falling onto his nipples.
He's already close so I move in for the finishing move. I grab one of his nipples in one hand and twist hard, as he gasps at the sensation that provides I latch onto his left nipple (which I had worked out to be far more sensitive) and biting the flesh between my teeth I used my tongue to flick at the sensitive tip of flesh. Sucking and gnawing I continued to pump is cock in time with pulsation of pleasure running across his body.
I felt his body tighten, his abs popping and the arms running down his arms sprung to life as orgasm racks through his body. He pulls my head off his nipples while he cums instead bringing my face to his as he forces his tongue into my mouth as we kiss deeply while his seed is pumped over our tightly entwined bodies.

He rolls off me and runs his fingers through the strings of cum that cover his tight smooth abs. His breathing returns to normal as he rolls onto his side next to me and grabs my cock with a look of lust in his eyes. He looks like he can't wait to make me cum, and it shows. Soon his magic hands appear as everywhere on my body.
I tell him to treat my balls like I did his nipples. Rough. So he starts gently at first, then harder and harder as my moans and groans get louder and deeper. He pumps my cock more and more. He gets up on his knees and runs his hand over and around my balls and again to my ass where he prods at my ass.... He's bringing me closer and closer.
I roll up to face him on my knees and grab my own cock, kissing him firmly at the same time. With his two hands he grabs my balls and massages the crack of my ass until my hot cum is pumping out of my tight balls and across my stomach, his chest, up onto his shoulder then over his head onto the wall behind.

We crash onto the bed drenched in sweat and cum. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me in tight. We lie there hugging and chatting not wanting to or being able to move, both exhausted from out release.
Lying there next to his perfectly smooth and awesomely lean body I couldn't help but start to run my hands over it.
Smooth and hard as rock, cut and defined his whole body moved and flexed with every breath. I ran my fingers around his nipple and started to gently tweak at it...
I could see his cock which was softly draped over his thigh start to thicken, then roll into an upright position. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
In a quick move I sucked his nipple into my mouth and nibbled in the way had learnt he likes best and quickly beat his cock. His body rocked and jerked as his moaned load and rolled his head back. He grabbed at his cock and started pumping as I worked both of his nipples. Quickly he was groaning deep and low while a second lot of cum spilled onto his hip and trickled down his thigh.
Again we cuddled for a bit before I showered and left.
God he had a hot body!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Grrrr I think Im crushing.... Im going to admit it. Im crushing hard on this guy....
Tony's preview page

Its very rare to find a dude:
1. This age
2. This size
3. That goddamn sexy handsome

Imagine waking up next to that guy. And looking into those eyes and kissing that smile..... arggggh Im morphing into a 14 year old GIRL!!

But watch this and tell me this isn't the sexiest thing there is.

Oh and by the way. This is a fantastic example of EXACTLY how I want to look.... One day (soon)

Surfie Boy...

Okay first of all....I have to get rid of that video of Tony Breznik. Every time I log on to do something with my blog I totally get distracted by that video and get nothing done. (Well not 'nothing'...but no writing at least.)

But anyway, yesterday was all about the summer I was forgetting to have. You see, ever since I graduated highschool and started working full time Ive never had a summer. I didn't even have a holiday for six years, let alone a summer. I worked so damn hard through the summers only occasionally looking out of my office window wishing I could have a weekend off or even just a day to spend in the sun.... (I know this is the story for a lot of working dudes - and dudeetes- but I was in my 20s summer sun and partying should have been de regur.

So now that I quite my job I would have all summer to play hard and make up for all those missed youthful summer memories. Only problem was, I forgot.
Until yesterday, the sun was out shinning my friend had the day off and so did I....Lets hit the beach!!
We went to Bondi. The sun was shinning and the boys were out in FORCE!!! Damn there are some sexy as hell guys on that beach. Tanned and smooth. With tight asses and big packaged stuffed into the tightest and hottest swimsuits out there.... yum.

Naturally to say, if I wasn't horny already (and by god I was) I was sure as hell horny after.

After the beach I hit the gym. Nothing like a big workout to get the testosterone coursing through my veins.
So I hook up with this guy. Blond curly hair, a really surfer boy look. Tan as deep as it comes. This guys tan was so dark I could still hear him sizzling. Smooth all over not a hair on his tight and ripped body. Wide shoulders cap his lean and vascular arms. His big heavy chest, smooth and round shadows his lean and tight all weather six-pack. (all weather meaning that the cuts on his abs are so deep you can see them all the time. For some guys, their abs only show under certain lighting conditions.....)

So anyway this guy is hot as hell. We kiss. A deep soft, exploring kiss. I brush my hands over his hot body, my cock jumps in anticipation. I run my hand over his chest and across his nipple, he takes a sharp breath in, a gasp.
I smile.
I know what that means. And in an instant Ive pulled away from his lips and have attached myself to his nipple. Sucking the nub into my mouth and softly chomping down on tip of his sensitive nipple. His knees buckle as he falls back towards the wall landing with a thud against the solid support. He's half moaning and half whimpering. Like it feels so good its overwhelming. However you describe the sounds they fuking turn me on so hard. I sink to my knees and devour his cock working his head and shaft while I reach up with my right hand and flick at his chest, sending electric pulses through his body.
He tightly grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me off his cock and back up to his face to kiss me again deep. But there is no way Im leaving those nipples alone. I move back down licking at them before again sucking them into my mouth to work my teeth over the sensitive skin. He starts sinking down the wall, with his head rolled back and staring at the ceiling. I grab his shoulders and direct him to the bed. I push him onto his back and hold his hands down at his sides, then start to really work his nipples as his body wracks and squirms at the sensations coursing through his body. Because Im holing him down and not touching his cock his hips swing wildly trying to get some stimulation to his cock to match the sensations running from his nipples to his balls.
Then in one swift movement I release his nipples and suck down his cock and work it hard and fast, a flurry of hand and mouth working with such ferocity and suddenness his only reaction was for his whole body to go rigid and let out a scream/moan/groan that just drove me wild.
Quickly he rolled away, panting and sweating. He jumps on top of my pinning my hips to the bed and devouring my cock in a single swallow. One hand goes for my balls while the other plays around my asshole... My head rocks back and my body arches off the bed as I let out an all mighty moan as every ounce of my body is wracked by the sensations of pleasure and ecstasy.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Man the Life rafts!!

Narcissus is Drooling again....

So Im at the gym, doing my thing.... ie lifting heavy weights and sweaty profusely.
Im chatting and being friendly with the boys and just enjoying a long workout on a quite saturday afternoon.
And then HE walks in.... Same age as me, a little taller at maybe 6' but this guy has been on the dark side since he was 17 or 18. Which is YOUNG. But for a guy like him its pretty normal. He wants to be a pro, a real pro. Which means HUGE. As in Oh. My. Fucking. God where has the sun gone? BIG!
Well anyway, while I was overseas in America so was he..... but only we were doing two very different things. He spent a few months over in the US getting the best advice from some of the biggest names in training and 'supplementation'. I expected to see him again and be blown away by his MASSIVE new size. Usually he wears big baggy t-shirts and baggy Adidas sweats so all you really get to see is his massive frame highlighted by his boulderous shoulders before everything else is obscured by baggy clothing... but not on this day.
He came in, smooth skin covered in a perfectly even tan as dark as chocolate (he's Mediterranean in heritage) but today instead of big and baggy he's wearing a perfectly fitted tank top which clung to his ample and heavy chest before skimming his torso not so it was tight but perfectly flowing on his new found waist line...
He was Hot. I nearly died. It was only now that we were all able to see how truly big this boy had become in his advancement into manhood. Massive shoulders with deep separations and pumping veins. Big boulders for biceps and thick triceps that made his arms hang away from his body with their weight and volume.
For the first time in a long time I was faced with exactly the body I want to achieve... Damn it was hot, impressive and oh so FINE!!!
I can't wait till I jump over to his side of the fence..... Just wait till I look like him.... I'll be unstoppable.....

To illustrate the body and the age relationship below is a Video of Tony Breznik who is a 21 year old GOD.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Horay for me!!

Yay!! My thighs are rubbing together! My legs kinda bow a bit as I walk...almost like a waddle.

Im so excited. I love it when that happens...

And here is a demonstration:

Check out these awesome, amazing, gut churning legs!! Its a video, its hot and amazing and totally, utterly and deffinently NOT ME!! But damn if Im not trying my hardest to get there one day!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Tagged and laid bare....

Okay, so Superdrewby sent me a zinger!! He tagged me to write about my Goals and Objectives for the coming year.
And Ill be honest. Its hit me for six. (Or "taken me aback" for our American readers...) You would think that at such a crucial and life-changing time in my life (such as where I find myself now) that I would totally know what and where.
But the truth is I don't.

Ive got the passion stuff down easy.
This year Im going to:
- Compete in both regional bodybuilding comps in May.
- Use my qualification to compete at the Australian titles in October.
- After October be ready to begin my switch to the open federations.
- DJ in a live venue again
- Enter some photography comps
- Finish a major creative project

In terms of relationships I really don't know. I know I want to:
- Expand my friendship circle and let more people in.
- Strengthen the friendships I already have.
- Have easier and more casual but more frequent interactions with my friends.

But whether that means I want a boyfriend? I don't know. I think Im at the stage where Im not looking for one. But if one happens to get stuck with me I'd like that too.... but really I don't think any of that will happen until I move out and have my own place.

Which leads me to.... real world goals:
- Get a job
- Move out of home
- Make money and a future

Ah, and there's the rub. After 6 years in my old job Im now have experience in a position that Im not qualified to hold. But in the areas of my double major double degrees I have no experience.
Dilemma. At my age Im really not looking forward to having to go back to the bottom of the heap and work my way up again. I don't mind taking a little bit of a step down in terms of responsibility (and therefore wage) to get into the industry I want but Id really like to not have to go all the way back to zero.

Further to my dilemma, I don't even know what industry I want to go after?? Im university qualified in both the Marketing and Computers/Business Systems industries and my experience is in business financial management.
At this stage Im only applying for jobs which excite me, and fit with what Id like to be doing for a long time moving forward.
(When I get desperate later on then I start on the jobs that I simply qualify for.....)

Overall 2007 is going to be a power year of transformation for me. Up until now Ive had to stay behind and take care of the family. Now Im free from that Im out to start my life and head in the direction that Ive always dreamt of.

And as always, the pursuit of a dream can be a scary thing indeed. Im not afraid of my dreams, just the chance that I may fail at them.
But really, Ive never failed at anything before. Why would I start now?

I hope everyone else out there is psyching up for a big year. Chase passion, embrace change and live life.


BTW, Im meant to forward the tag onward to more Bloggers.... but all the guys I know online have already been tagged, and the rest of the guys I read would look at my name and wonder "Who the f*&#k?" So I'll leave it hear and wish everyone else luck in their 2007 searchings....

Monday, January 08, 2007

Oh. My. God.

I just realised that my Blogger profile starts "An early 20's dude.....blah blah blah....crap crap crap". Now that Im 24 does that mean I have to change that to "A MID 20's dude...blah blah..." Oh god, that sounds so OLD!!
Oh geez.... Im too small to be this old!

Busted!!....By my own honesty....

So I have to wait for my window to be sent direct from Alfa Romeo.... one of the penalties you pay for driving a less then mainstream vehicle. Even the local Alfa dealer didn't have the window in stock because not many of my type of car were made, so I have to wait.

And so the date. Unfortunately, as much as I want to tell you everything that happened (It was so nice, all the way through), I can't.
I made the mistake of letting slip the fact that I had a blog other then the one he had already seen. (My other blog is a family safe collection of pictures from my travels abroad and my first two bodybuilding comps).
So anyway, he knows that this blog exists. And he freaked out. Not in an aggressive way just in a subtle 'thats fucking with my head' kinda way... So I promised I wouldn't blog about him or our date.

Which makes me think. Now that I know his reaction about the blog would not telling him have been the right thing? I wonder what the other guys I write about on my blog would think if they knew their sexual encounters were being documented? (Although there is one guy who's written about here and reads the blog...;-P)
Was telling this guy a mistake? It certainly changed what happened at the end of the night.... but would not telling him have been even more dishonest?
Im sure these guys talk about me to their friends, so isn't my sharing with you guys just like that? I mean, all you guys are my pals aren't ya? heehehe
Just makes me think.... What do you guys think??

Busted!!....By my own honesty....

So I have to wait for my window to be sent direct from Alfa Romeo.... one of the penalties you pay for driving a less then mainstream vehicle. Even the local Alfa dealer didn't have the window in stock because not many of my type of car were made, so I have to wait.

And so the date. Unfortunately, as much as I want to tell you everything that happened (It was so nice, all the way through), I can't.
I made the mistake of letting slip the fact that I had a blog other then the one he had already seen. (My other blog is a family safe collection of pictures from my travels abroad and my first two bodybuilding comps).
So anyway, he knows that this blog exists. And he freaked out. Not in an aggressive way just in a subtle 'thats fucking with my head' kinda way... So I promised I wouldn't blog about him or our date.

Which makes me think. Now that I know his reaction about the blog would not telling him have been the right thing? I wonder what the other guys I write about on my blog would think if they knew their sexual encounters were being documented? (Although there is one guy who's written about here and reads the blog...;-P)
Was telling this guy a mistake? It certainly changed what happened at the end of the night.... but would not telling him have been even more dishonest?
Im sure these guys talk about me to their friends, so isn't my sharing with you guys just like that? I mean, all you guys are my pals aren't ya? heehehe
Just makes me think.... What do you guys think??

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Bitch and Moan...

WARNING!! ** To all those who like to come and read sexy, upbeat recounts of my life....this is not one of them MAJOR bitching ahead** Stop reading now if this isn't your thing....>>

Argh!! Ill make this short. I need to get this off my sore heaving chest. Im sick. My ears tingle, my chest is heavy and swallowing anything is like swallowing razor blades.... urgh. All I need is a good night sleep and Ill be fine, rested and well again.
Which is why I went to bed early to sleep long throught the night...until I was woken by my car alarm at 1.30am....

This is what those bastards did to my car!! My poor baby. Where the big hole and all the wires are is where my automatic flip out touch screen interface was. So no music and no DVDs, but because I had the entire cars (slightly modified hehehehe) engine management systems controlled through the touch screen the car itself doesn't work very well at all! And I can't decactivate the alarm because they ripped out all of the fusses and the wiring harness for the security system which backended into the engine managment system.
So Im pissed. And sick. And grumpy.

But I have my date tonight, so somehow it all seems okay. ;-) (BTW, he called me to see how I was.... just checking up on me :-D)

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Bits and Pieces...

Short notes today:

1) Has anybody seen Christopher Knight (aka Peter Brady) as seen on the Real Life (VH1) is a HUNK! I mean a real, melt in my shorts, give me a piece of that actions STUD!! Check him out....see the goods that old man is packing. Abs, chest and arms...its all lean buff and bulky smooth and tan. YUM!

2) I have a date. Tehehehe

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Home on the range (concluded)....

Ground work set, we return to Home Nightclub..... I've been there long enough to catch up with my mates and get into a groove moving to the music.
Through the crowd I see a hot dude, staring at his shirtless torso I soak in his hot body, dark tan, smooth skin....only to notice him moving closer.... my eyes finally make there way to his face and I recognize him as a friend of a friend and a dude that I always say gday to when we see each other... You know, cordial and nice. He asks how I am, where I've been, how Im enjoying myself.... I ask what he did for New Years and what parties he's done. Just the usual friendly stuff.
The truth is I have a major crush on this guy. But Ive always thought that he was way out of my league, this guy is one of those mainstream gays - an uber-gay. He acts masculine but he's tanned and waxed and knows everybody who's anybody, friends with all the DJ's who wave at him from behind the decks.... connected and hot and smart and friendly. In the gay world, Im more abstract, edgy and extreme. Plus my appearance and disappearance into and out of the scene every couple of months means Im always an outsider. I like being an outsider, its what I do. Who I am. So thats why I thought this guy was being nice. Because I hang with dudes he knows, he was just being nice and chit-chatting with me.
I didn't mind. As long as he talks to me. Im happy. These flickering meetings in noisy nightclubs have been happening for ages... nearly as long as Ive been out in the clubs. They usually just tail off as more people move through and we each go off chatting with other people. But not this time.
We've done the nice stuff....and we're still all dancing in a big crowd. He leans in to me and says: "I think we need to go upstairs or down?" Wow. He's pulling me away from the group. Excitement builds.
We move to another part of the nightclub....we make our way through a crowd and he reaches back and grabs my hand to hold as we move through the crowd. (And as much as I crush on this guy, being dragged by my hand still aggravates me and my dominant personality which has an aversion to being so physically submissive, but we can deal with that later.)

So dancing and grooving the night moves on. Soon I direct him out to the balcony as we move through the crowd (he lets me lead through the crowd most of the time. When he's in front he grabs for my hand, I grab his jeans and hold onto his belt sticking my hand down the crack of his ass.... we dont get separated and I feel less submissive. We don't need to explore my issues right now.)
We stand on the terrace and chat and grove to the music. He asks lots of questions and I do most of the talking. I hate it when this happens because I never realise its happening until after the conversation. I spend most of the time talking about myself. I always negate to ask the other guy questions because I always feel like Im invading his space and being nosy.... Soon I realise tho and I say to him:
"Your getting to know so much about me, but I still don't know much about you!"
"I wonder why that is??" He retorts, raising his eyebrow.
"Oh, so you want me to drag it out of you?"
So the questions and answer session begins.... he wanted to feel like I was interested. Which I was, but wasn't showing it. Turns out that he DJs too.... you see I would have expected that when he found out I DJed that he would say "Oh, I DJ too!" But he didn't. He waited to be asked directly. Thats cool, I get the whole situation now.
So back and forth we chat. We're making jokes and getting real chummy. The occasional hand on the shoulder, hug of support, not full on groppy contact that I would usually go for. Something more respectful and polite.
Through our joking I made a comment of the fact that Id never seen him...ummmm.....not in his disco happy place.... He takes a moment and stares at the ceiling, as if recalling each of our meetings and thinking about his state of mind at the time. He smiles and looks back at me.... "Yes, you have"
"When I served you a red bull at Gilligans. You had short hair then."
You know that moment in a movie where they reveal the twist at the end and then everything before it all of a sudden locks into place and you realise that you've know it all along but just not seen it?? (Like at the end of The 6th Sense where they flash back through all the scenes that gave you clues...) That happened in my mind. Id only ever been to Gilligans once. And Id always had a really strong sense that Id met this guy before, before all the times in the we had met somewhere else.
Then he says that. From all those years ago.... he remembered me, he remembered my drink, he remembered my hair and how much I had changed. We're talking 6 years ago.
I remember it because it was such a moment in my life. My first crush. I was so gobsmacked by that guy behind the bar. I had played that scene in my head so many times afterwards. So many times I'd thought about him and his smile and what I did or didn't do....
And here I was, 6 years later with that guy right in front of me. And what was really blowing my mind....he remembered me. From that brief of a hundred he would of had that night... he remembered. I still can't believe I didn't recognise him.
I wasn't going to fuck up again..... "Can I have your number?" I ask, reaching for my mobile.
"Why?" He responded coyly. "You never fuck anyone more then once anyway."
Ah yes, my honesty had gotten in the way yet again. Somewhere in the conversation we had been discussing our differences when it came down to sexual activities.... And really, they don't get much more divergent then between me and him. He is Vanilla, down the line. Prefers anal to oral but reportedly give the most amazing blow job.
I on the other not vanilla. Not even close. But it was during this conversation that he realised that I hadn't had a relationship. Just to make sure he understood who he was dealing with I let him know my one fuck habit.
So here we were, me asking for his number.
"Why would you need my number if we are only going to fuck once?"
Bombshell time. "Because I can't sleep with you tonight."
Shocked look, brow frowns...he takes a step back.
You see here's the fun bit. Being a natural bodybuilder you need to harness the power of your own testosterone... one extreme way is to cycle. That means taking periods of abstinence followed by periods of intense activity. It confuses the hypothalamus into producing more testosterone then your body would normally. Ive effectivly raised my T levels using this method from what my doctor refers to as "Borderline Abnormally Low" to "Excessive". Yay me. Im a stud. (So you guys now know why I start talking about old stories for a period then all of a sudden its new guy after new guy....) Downside? I had to stand there and turn this fuking stud down.
Its only when your explaining this stuff aloud to someone that you realise how ridiculous things are. Im mean who the fuck is going to believe this bulshit!?!
"Sounds like an excuse to me..." He turns away.
I pause a moment and realise that there is nothing I can say that could possibly sound anything other then the complete ranting of a game player. FUCK.
We manage to move past this and later he asks: "Do you have a problem with beer breath?"
"Do you have a problem with beer breath? Because I want to kiss you."
I grab the nape of his neck and pull his mouth to mine. Lips to lips we softly begin. Tongues leap and suddenly we are deep in an embrace. I pull him closer to me, standing my feet between his. Instantly my cock is ROCK hard (because dear readers, we are talking about complete abstinence. For 7 day periods... You all can read the last time I came from my post last Friday) so my dick gets hard. And my balls hurt. And he notices straight away and grinds his cock into mine. Instant head swelling pleasure. His eyes widen, he realises just how much is going on down there.... and he get its. Im not dogging him to play games, or because I don't like him. He believes me, the truth is in the reaction. I wanted him so bad. And now he knew it.
Again we kiss, softer this time. Less of a pash and more of a kiss. Gentle and caring, on the lips and check. Its nice, its soothing.
Back to dancing we go. We have a great night. Dancing and grooving. For some reason I don't dance with him the same as I would a usual catch. If I was hot for a guy, and he was in for it we would be dancing crotch to crotch rubbing and gyrating close together. Friction building and heat exchanged. We'd kiss deep and hard and slutty. For me dancing with guy was different. I didn't feel a barrier nor did I feel uncomfortable. When we would exchange words we would move in close and grab each others shoulders to bring them in closer so we could speak into their ear. But then we would separate again. Weird. We continued to make eye contact and smile and have a great time.
He became quite concerned with how I was towards the end of the party. Always asking how I was and if I was okay.... as a drug free dude I do tend to crash as morning approaches. My stamina just goes and it shows on my face.
He was a sweetheart and a gentleman. Of course I was fine, but approaching my limits. We walk down towards the main dance space. His arm around my should, mine around his.
"So what are we going to do?" He asks. "You can't cum and we're not compatible?"
"I think we can find a middle road." I responded. "I want to call you during the week. And ask you on a date for next weekend. I want to do it right." I added.
"I thought you don't date." Was his response.
"Well, it would be my first." Which is the truth. I've never actually asked or been asked out for a date. He smiled and laughed a bit.
"What? Isn't that how its done? Don't people date?" I ask, genuinely confused as to how these things work. I think in hindsight he was just laughing at my stumbling through these new experiences.
"No, thats fine. That would be just fine."
Shortly after the music changed and lost me completely. And that was it. The last of my energy was gone and it was time for my 2 hour drive home.
We kissed good bye. It was a tender kiss. I hugged him and desperately wanted to stay. Hold him longer. Hug him tighter.
But I left.

So now here I am. At the end of what turns out to be a post that belongs on Single in the City wondering if I should call him now? Or would that be too soon, too eager? Should I call him later, closer to the weekend? Should I call him at all or would an SMS be a less risky choice? What should we do, where to go? I don't want to call him and have no suggestions at all...
Im a smart, successful and in charge 24 year old (did you'all notice the age change? Im older now hehehe) I should have this kind of thing sorted out by now!!
I hate being out of control, out of my comfort zone. Id feel much more comfortable tying him to a sling and torturing his nipples while he hangs blindfolded and immobilized dripping precum as his body jerks and reacts to my touch..... but would that make me happy?

Home on the range....

Ill skip straight past New Years eve, cause you guys won't be interested. The short version is me and my mates in an up market sports bar for the count down and an early night (2am) to be ready for the big night I had last night.
Homesexual. The party was hot.
Held in one of the cities superclubs on the edges of glorious Darling Harbor (Home Nightclub) the party is a highlight of most long weekends in Sydney. This particular night the crowd was made up of all the mixes of people that make a big party like this fun. Dude who had being going since long before the count down the night before through the recoveries and the big day party. Those who had slept through the countdown to do the Monday in style and last through the day party (Toybox) and onto the all nighter at Home. As well as those (like myself) who were fresh and ready to party through the night.
The music was banging in all areas, all tastes, styles and mental states were accounted for and you really could get lost in the sound scapes spilling through the corridors and vast dance spaces of this fantastic club.
The crowd was varied as would be expected at this kind of party. Campy little boys wearing leis and squarecut speedos, buff uber-gays with perfect tans and perfect abs, muscle boys and muscle men.
The crowd was happy and friendly, the place was packed but nobody cared. The condensed sweat of 2000 revelers collected on the ceiling and rained down on us like a summer storm as we bounced and grooved to the sounds pumping through our bodies.
Banging party, it was hot.
What made it better? I met a guy.
I know, I know....I usually meet a guy. And then tell yall about it right here. The sweat, the action, the climax. Not this time. This story is a lot more Not So Single Guy (well more like his previous incarnation as the Single Guy) but I want to share it with you anyway.

Cast you minds back with me to my first adventure out onto Oxford St. My hearts beating fast with nerves and exhilaration surrounded as I was by men, men, men. Gay men. I didn't really know where to go, or what to do. (Remembering that not only was I not used to any kind of gay scene but coming from a small town I had no idea how to act in the big city)
I was walking laps of oxford st, just soaking in the atmosphere and enjoying the scene. I make it to the top of oxford, near Taylor Square and get hit in the face. Not in any physical way, but the metaphorical hit between the eyes that you get when out of a crowd one guy just leaps out and smacks you one. This guy was hot. A brilliant smile and amazing alive eyes. Instinctively I smile at him, we catches me looking and stares back smiling broadly his eyes beaming.
Had this kind of thing happened today, I would have his number by the time the traffic lights had changed back to green. Back then all that happened was my heart beat faster and faster until the crowds moved on and he disappeared from view.
Later that night I walked (after having to prove my age to 3 security guards on the way in) up to the second story bar known as Gilligans (Yeah, who would have thought That was a gay bar!?!) Anyway, two steps into the half full cocktail bar and wham! who's the bartender? That guy. Who sees me instantly. (Imagine the look: Deer, headlights. Get the picture?) So, being a guy who doesn't actually drink I rock upto the bar trying to act cool and calm and well....non dorkish, and order a red bull.
I can't remember what was said. I remember I was trying to be flirty, and he was nice. But the conversation died pretty quickly as I stumbled over my tongue and made a hasty retreat to a corner of the bar. (Oh yeah, thats great...keep him wanting more, don't seem desperate) Being by myself in a cocktail bar full of groups and couples I kind of stood out like a sore thumb and felt very self conscious of the fact that I looked a bit daft sitting there not talking to anyone.
I kept making eye contact with the bar man, we were totally flirting across the room. I think in hindsight he was waiting for me to come back and approach him again, since as a bartender he couldn't leave the bar....but I never did. Finally he threw me a look which was frustrated and not so smiley.... Hindsight changes my view on that the time I thought he was annoyed at my constant attention and made a hasty retreat to the door and out to the night below. Thinking that Id pissed him off by staring at him.

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