Okay, so this is how it is going to work. On Saturday, 2nd of June 2007 I am going to reveal who I am. Im not famous, Im not even infamous but I am ME.
This may not sound like a big deal to some of you, but as I look back on some of the things I have shared with you guys over the history of this blog, to me it is a big thing.
I share so much of my private, public, hidden, open, secret, sexy, sweaty, sad, happy and social life with the 10,000 or so people who visit these pages every week but stil, up until now they knew almost everything about me except the truly important thing of 'who I AM'.
So next Saturday, for the first time on SyntheticEgo you will all be able to see who I am, see my face, my eyes and my smile. My big reveal as I work towards living an honest life.
So all those guys that have emailed me and asked to see pictures of who I truly am, all those people who tried to track me down through my other web profiles get ready and spread the word.
The vail is about to be lifted.... Narcissus is coming.
Just wanted to mention (quite excitedly) that my Sydney comp has officially SOLD OUT.... Jam packed to capacity. Im soooooo looking forward to getting on stage and doing my routine NOW!!
But don't y'all worry, I have a few hours this weekend devoted purely to getting some pics ready for your viewing pleasure.... It will be like you were there for yourselves... almost.
Another big weekend. And what a show! What a fuking show!
The biggest line up of compeditors in my division I had ever seen, ever. The quality and conditioning of these athletes was amazing. Everyone I talked to in the audience said it was the most compeditive lineup seen in quite some time. I didn't place in but I was happy with how I looked. I came in tight and hard, I came in harder then in the previous week but it still wasn't enough to keep up with these guys.
The vascularity and dryness of these guys was simply breathtaking, we all had such a great time hanging out backstage and getting ready to go on and perform for the crowd knowing that in this group, nomatter where we placed it was a deserved spot.
By the time my posing routine had come around I had seen the pictures taken from the crowd of the pre judging and talked to a few mates of mine who are all experienced bodybuilders and I knew Id come in 4th or 5th so the pressure to win was pretty much off... The top three had won a postition on the diece, which position was still up in the air...it would be a close battle.
But the great thing about not having a chance, is that you don't have to care.... and thats the best way to go into your posing routine. When the only reason your onstage is to entertain and showoff, you're going to put on a show!
And my routine went off.... Oh damn I had fun. I had the girls in the crowd screaming and on their feet. 60 seconds of pure exhileration and pride. Just think, Frankie Goes to Hollywood... ;-P
Next week is the big finale to this season. The sydney comp is huge and attracts the best of the best. For me, competing there is a glimps into how the real men play the game and its a great experience. My only chance of winning is if I win a lucky door prize of protein suppliments or something... so again, no pressure. Just gotta go in there looking my best, looking better then last week and better then last year. Because when it comes down to it, thats all I really wanted from this year, to be better then last. And now that Im competing with a waist that measures less then 28 1/2" Im happy.
So this weekend is about celebrating my sport and basking in the process, enjoying the show of it, the eternal preperation and the display. The few chances in life where its not a bad thing to stand up and say "Fuck I look good. Check THIS out!" Im really looking forward to this weekend. Its been a very, very long road. Its been a very full on three weeks of competing and Im looing forward to being able to open my focus onto other things and other goals in my life. Im looking forward to being social with my work collegues and going out clubbing on the Rainbow Mile, in my Emerald city. (If its still there? Last time I heard the whole strip was slipping into a social wasteland....)
Im looking forward to having more flexability in my life, re-connecting with friends and regaining balance. But one thing I do know is that Im going to miss it. Im going to miss the deadline, the pressure and the pain.
Its a good thing I've already got the path to National compititions mapped out.... because THATs going to be a challenge. And if I haven't learnt anything else from this I have learnt that I like the challenge. The harder it gets, the more I love it!
I wanted to say a big thank you to all the studs, dudes and chickydees who stopped a moment to congratulate me on my win. Its great to think that you guys are as thrilled as I am at all this work paying off....
And as the time gets closer to posting a massive set of pictures I can tell you all that you're going to see alot more of me then your used to..... I deffinently getting to the stage where hiding isn't what I want to do anymore.
If people aren't willing to accept Narcissus then more fool them.... and that's in real-life and online.
Fuck em, I am me... More then anybody can realise.
Another week gone without a post.... Damn Im getting slack. But don't think its just you guys that Im dogging. I realised tonight on the way home that I hadn't logged onto either of my online profiles at Gaydar or Bigmuscle.com in ages..... I just logged on then, I had messages sent to me dating all the way back to March!! Im a slack boy! And just think, it must have been nearly that long since I fucked.
I've just been too busy and focused and distracted (and self-conscous) to play around. Its funny tho, when you've got so much on your plate and all your doing is looking forward towards these end goals you dont' miss something like sex. Well I havn't anyway.... But the closer I get to the end of this particularly grinding journey Im starting to look forwards to the things that Ill be doing when I have a bit of flexability and compramise in my life.... And gosh darn it Im going to make some big boys very sore...
I just wanted to let y'all know that I think its great your still here. I mean nothing much has been happening on here so Im soooo happy your still here, because after the next three weeks of comps there will be some HUGE things coming.
I mean seriously guys (and gals -Hi Sue!) can you imagine: me, in my own apartment, in the city? Now thats going to go off with bang!!
Oh and for the pictures, they will come in time.... But during and post comp only. Im don't like taking pictures of myself at this stage of contest prep because I am hugely self critical and a bad photograph can be really destroying to my focus especially on the amount of carbs and sleep Im using to 'survive'.
But trust me, when Its all said and done....You'll be seeing a lot more of Narcissus....
Have you ever been so comfortable with something that you never stop to ponder on its real reason for existing?? For the last two years Ive been a guy with a beard. Which doesn't sound like a big deal, but when your a 24 year old, 5'10 bodybuilder wearing the lastest clothes and dancing in nighclubs...it kinda gets noticed. Often in a lull of conversation with new people it would only be time before: "So why the beard?" So anyway, the beard is gone. I shaved it. And as I looked at my reflection in the mirror I realised that it wasnt' just a beard. Id been hidding (I know! Cliche!!) but what I saw staring back at me was the guy I remember from photos before I took over the family business... Relaxed and confident, looking at the world as an oportunity rather then a massive threat. When I removed my beard I removed the burden and the mask that had turned me into a cynical old man....way before my years were up.
So I sit here with a very white shaven face and a new outlook, a new sense of direction and hope. I also sit here with short hair. The esoteric and gruff asthetic has gone, replaced instead with an open face, open eyes and an open mind.
(My mum still can't beleive how much more open my eyes look. "Id forgetten how blue your eyes were...." She said with a tear.
An early 20's dude who's trying hard to do something interesting... Which results in a manic obsesion with doing 'stuff'...(Like learning how to DJ, Learning how to wrestle, Competing in Bodybuilding, trying to get laid....repeatedly)
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